Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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