Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize