My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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