11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
