Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
