i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
