I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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