so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
