I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
They should really pass out barf bags in church
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.