i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring