Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final

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  (607): flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final http://tfl.nu/3a2h
  Replies (11) Good night (5328) Bad night (1053)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.

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  (321): Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk. (407): Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked. http://tfl.nu/656t
  Replies (21) Good night (5611) Bad night (800)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you

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  (306): funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you http://tfl.nu/jsw9
  Replies (22) Good night (5399) Bad night (1631)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...

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  (210): You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink... http://tfl.nu/o571
  Replies (11) Good night (2009) Bad night (3933)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.

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  (704): Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer. http://tfl.nu/5883
  Replies (10) Good night (3081) Bad night (1518)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?

  (1-906): View more from Michigan

  It's okay.

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  (906): Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay? (1-906): It's okay. http://tfl.nu/i6me
  Replies (9) Good night (1379) Bad night (4254)
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  (925): View more from California

  I hope this adventure ends at a hospital

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  (925): I hope this adventure ends at a hospital http://tfl.nu/tvb7
  Replies (2) Good night (2391) Bad night (1322)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.

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  (970): I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive. http://tfl.nu/p82j
  Replies (4) Good night (2381) Bad night (1510)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.

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  (337): Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times. http://tfl.nu/ao6t
  Replies (30) Good night (9711) Bad night (1329)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i am way too old to be getting fingered at work

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  (519): i am way too old to be getting fingered at work http://tfl.nu/4t42
  Replies (37) Good night (6129) Bad night (1627)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.

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  (636): Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape. http://tfl.nu/3ikt
  Replies (3) Good night (1932) Bad night (1031)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.

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  (917): I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration. http://tfl.nu/hksr
  Replies (5) Good night (940) Bad night (1792)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.

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  (978): rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home. http://tfl.nu/3qi1
  Replies (8) Good night (1299) Bad night (701)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I have a surprise for you

  (1-254): View more from Texas

  Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!

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  (254): I have a surprise for you (1-254): Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy! http://tfl.nu/af5l
  Replies (5) Good night (2519) Bad night (689)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.

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  (814): The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends. http://tfl.nu/0kea
  Replies (1) Good night (804) Bad night (541)

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