the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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