I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
