is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
