At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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