I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
