there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
