hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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