No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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