we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
