I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
