The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
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Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
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He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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