apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
