I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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