ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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