in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
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I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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