his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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