Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
