I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize