I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
