I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Less talking, more tequila
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
