I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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