i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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