i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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