Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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