i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
