I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
