You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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