take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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