I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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