I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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