end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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