just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
