i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
