If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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