Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
