My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
