Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
