We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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