oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
