Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
