Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
