my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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