Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
smell my finger.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
