Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
