I hate all girls vehemently.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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