yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
