If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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