i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
