BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We need to get me chipped asap
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
