just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
