dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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