Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?